Tiny Lines #6

For the first time in my life,
Am angry at my existence.
Do i hate myself?
May be i hate the world..
I have struggled in pain,
I have hoped against odds,
I have danced in rain
And wept at night..
But today as i stand
Watching my life,
Nothing but a joke
A joke that tests me..
Am i strong?
Oh, god wants to find out..
Am i unbreakable?
I have been broken before,
But tonight as i go to sleep
I feel my body as nothing
Nothing but fallen pieces..
And tonight i know
Something i never did..
I give up and i shall not fight anymore
I shall not be angry
I shall not cry
I shall not blame anyone
But myself..
Today i question my existence..
Today i will live
Because nothing is worst than this life…

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11 thoughts on “Tiny Lines #6

      1. Hey!! Don’t ever say that!! I don’t know what you’re upset about. But look at the larger perspective of life. You will find many reasons to be happy. Your parents, your Friends; they all love you. And you can’t deny that. Look at the poor who lives on just one meal a day or maybe half. Even he is hopeful of a better future. Don’t lose hope. Time changes!! And this time will pass too 😘

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      2. First of all, my family is the biggest reason. Secondly my whole life has nothing but my struggle to get better life everyday. and today, when i actually have no dreams, aims and am standing nowhere near to something called career, i am stuck in a life which i hate the most. what’s worst is, this life keeps on testing my patience. Am not afraid of what am going to do in future, the only thing am afraid of is, i don’t know where my frustration would take me. I am very helpless, clueless and tired. I have no strength to wish, fight or pray anymore. i have got complete reverse of all that i have prayed. everytime my expectations, even from my own family has turned into disappointment. I can’t have any expectations from my life anymore. I have to live anyway. That’s what am doing because this is my punishment for myself, i cant face my fears. for some reason i have lost the girl i once been, a strong and bold girl!! all am now is a wreck of broken dreams.. i am losing all the things i was proud of. I always had hope, am too scared to hope anymore. I always loved people no matter what.. i have started hating everyone including myself. and today, because of me something thats dearest to me is getting hurt. and for that i can never forgive myself!

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      3. I can relate to all that. Two years ago, my dad broke the only dream I ever had. I was nowhere near to the idea of continuing my life. I hated my friends. My mum was my only hope. But then also, I thought of everyone as my enemy. I thought my life is over. The only thing I ever wanted was taken away from me and there was nothing I could do. But it was my elder brother who told me where I lacked. I always relied on plan A. I needed a plan b. And hence, I restarted my life with a million plans. This life is a cruel monster. Or a dearest friend. It all depends on us. I know you would think of me as an idiot. I know how it feels when we’ve hit the lowest and there seems to be no road ahead. Just regret and disappointments. But that is when you gotta get up. Do you wanna be a quitter? Tell me who got it all the easy way???!! Nobody!!! Every successful person had to go through various stages of acid tests. Consider this as your acid test. Please don’t lose hope. Do what you love. Painting, listening to music, workout etc. Anything! But calm your nerves. Prepare yourself to take wise decisions to get out of this mess. There is no fun in living a plain happy life. Struggles make the journey sweeter.

        I hope you’ll think upon this. I’m here for you 😊

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